It Takes a Village

I have always been a community-oriented person. I’ve lived in several intentional (and unintentional) communities, and I have always cherished the support that naturally exists when we team up and live life together. So many things become easier when people work together towards a common aim, whether it is land stewardship, taking care of the kids, or supporting the elderly in their later years. We aren’t meant to do life alone. We are communal beings. We come from a long lineage of tribal and village experience, and it is natural for us to combine forces for the good of all.

Strength in numbers was always apparent to me when it came to the basics of daily living. Planting a garden, fixing a fence, and building cob houses were all activities that made sense to me to do as a group. However, when it came to my inner life, I used to be primarily oriented towards “going at it alone”. I was on my own unique path, and I rarely involved others in my process, apart from a couple of brief stints in Zen monasteries and Vipassana retreats. Most of the time it was me, myself and I, and I truly thought that this was the best way to attend to the process of self-transformation. The big exception to this solo way of operating was the time that I spent with the Breema community in Oakland, CA. For many years I was actively involved with a group of people who were all working towards a common inner aim, and this was a very powerful experience that gave me much of the foundation that I stand upon today.

It has been said that we become like the five people that we spend the most time with. I have also heard it said, “Show me your friends and I will show you your future”. Why is this? One reason is that we are not separate, though I know that we appear to be. We are all constantly influencing each other, in both subtle and obvious ways. Everything is connected. There is one Universal Mind, also known as Infinite Intelligence, that is continually creating and expressing Itself through us as individuals. Our individual existence is only temporary; when our bodies die our souls return to the unified field of all that exists. We are all connected in the Universal Consciousness.

Imagine a very strong magnet and a piece of metal. The closer the metal is to the magnet, the stronger the experience of magnetism will be. The magnet has its own inherent strength, and it is only the proximity to the magnet that will determine the effects of magnetism on the piece of metal. Our minds are like magnets. We are constantly attracting and repelling things into our lives via the thoughts we are habitually thinking. We are also constantly affecting each other with our mind magnets, though most of the time we are not aware that this is happening.

I can’t tell you how many breakthroughs I have had in my life that were followed by a strong resolution to change the habits and tendencies that were holding me back from living my life in freedom. Let’s just say that there have been many. ☺

Too many. I say, “too many”, because I have finally learned that the breakthrough is just the beginning. After the realization, comes the work. When we learn how to change our subconscious paradigms, we literally can change our lives. The process is quite simple, but it is far from easy. Why? I have one word for you: habit. We are habitual creatures. Over 90% of our behavior is habitual. Given this peculiar human characteristic, I can say with absolute certainty that it is imperative that we surround ourselves with people who are also actively engaged in the work of transformation. Otherwise, we are left to our own devices and this usually backfires! After the initial breakthrough we feel solid on our paths, only to find that after a little while we are right back to our old tricks. Having a community with a common objective is crucial in the process of transforming old habits of thought and behavior because it provides accountability and support within a solid energetic container.

Many people say that they want to thrive. They say that they want to up level their lives. My experience with my clients and with myself has taught me that underneath the surface, most people are embarrassed about it. Many of us are afraid of what others will think when we start to outwardly express the results of our increased prosperity consciousness. We are afraid of being judged for our new cars, new clothes, new houses. We are shy about expressing our brilliance. We have upper limiting beliefs that have been there for ages, and it can be difficult to step into expansion while we are simultaneously holding ourselves back for fear of being seen and judged. We tell ourselves that we really want to step into expansion and fuller expression, but when it comes down to it we are more comfortable standing in our limitations.

This is why it is so important to do the work of expansion and transformation within the supportive container of a group. In the group we aren’t afraid to share our real goals. We aren’t afraid to share our dreams and desires. And we aren’t afraid to share our wins and our steppingstones along the way. Do you know how many people in my groups have come to admit that they want to be millionaires? After a couple of months of toying around with smaller numbers, they finally express their actual financial goals of earning a million or more every year. Why does this need to be admitted as if it is something taboo? Because so many people have icky associations about money that have been blocking their prosperity for years. These associations come from their conditioning and their paradigms. Once we start the work of changing the beliefs, the associations start to fall away, and the truth is revealed. We can only achieve something once we claim it. Most of these people would have never claimed their true goals if they had been exclusively surrounded by their current friends and families. Why? Because “birds of a feather flock together”. The people who have surrounded us for ages reflect our old beliefs. We must surround ourselves with new people in order to have the energetic support to form and maintain the new beliefs that match our new goals. It’s physics, and it’s essential in the work of permanently upleveling our lives. It takes a village to raise our level of conscious awareness, just as much (if not more) as it does to raise a barn. This is why I have created a group coaching program, and I am excited to witness this community of women continue to support and inspire each other to greater degrees of thriving in this precious life.